Thursday, March 26, 2015


Hello there! I had to take a short break, but I'm back with the next hottie in my Hot Wrestler of the Week series. This week's guy is a personal favorite of mine. He is amazing in the ring and has the body of a chiseled Greek god. We're both from St. Louis and were in high school at the same time, although in neighboring districts. I like to pretend this means we could have been friends. Ladies and gents I give you Randy Orton.

From: St. Louis, Missouri
Age: 34
Promotion: WWE
Height: 6'5
Weight: 245

Although Randy is young, he's a veteran of the WWE. He's been with the company going on thirteen years, and he's been a top star for nearly that entire time. On TV he's been an (sort of kayfabe) entitled third-generation wrestler, handpicked for championship shots. 

He's been a (kayfabe) legend killer where he took out the stars of yesterday in brutal fashion. 

And he's been a sadistic, crazy bad ass, ruled by the voices in his head that tell him to drop any and everybody with his finisher - the RKO. (Jury is still out on whether or not this part is kayfabe)

What's the RKO you ask? It's a cutter where the victim has his gead gripped and driven into the mat. It's hard to put into words so here's some gifs.

I'd like to take an RKO, just once to see what it's like. I'd survive, right?

 On second thought, I'd rather not fall off a ladder and have my face smashed into a wrestling ring, so I'm gonna skip it.

It's a cool move and it often happens *cough* out of nowhere. There was even a hysterical series of RKO Vines that went around last year. Some of these look painful, so if you're squeamish, skip it.

Randy's quick movements in the ring along with his writhing, I mean errr... slithering have earned him the nickname The Viper. Randy often finds someway to get in trouble outside of the ring and has a mouth on him that causes him to get bleeped! on camera a lot of times (naughty bad boy!) but I think his mannerisms and move set are one of the best. The fact that he looks like this is just icing on the cake. Cake that I'm sure he never eats with abs like that.

Did you notice the sheen to his glorious abs? Here's another look in case you missed it.

They shine because he really likes to oil up before matches. The man glistens under the lights. I mean seriously, I don't know how he keeps from throwing himself belly down on the ramp and going down it like a slip and slide. I like it, but I can't help but tease. Sir Oilyness inspired me to make this sign for a live event I went to a couple years back. Sadly, he didn't select me for the job.

Sigh. I guess I'll have to continue to admire him from afar. Like in his match this Sunday at Wrestlemania, where he takes on a growing favorite of mine, Seth Rollins. Can't wait until this Sunday to see more of Mr. Orton? Then feast your eyes on the pics, gifs and video below.

Maybe he has an ouchie there that I could help him with? I have Band-Aids

Who gave this poor man a wedgie?

Randy in a shirt AND pants is a rare occurrence. This is from the WWE film he starred in, Twelve Rounds: Reloaded


Thanks for reading!

*With the exception of the baby oil pic, none of the images or videos are mine. I borrowed them because they're pretty, but they remain the property of their owners.