Sexy Time Cliches

So the other day I'm scrolling through Facebook when I came across a picture on one of  my friend's pages. The pic was Erotic Romance Bingo, where you play by - you guessed it - covering a square every time you come across a cliched phrase in an erotic romance.

When I first saw this, I cringed. I've used some of those phrases! That must mean that my writing is cliched crap! I got all red in the face, positive no one would buy my book. Then I calmed down and did the math (yes I'm that obsessive). I used 8 of those phrases. That's only 33%! Since I'm only on my second book and still learning, I'll consider myself in the clear.

Of course I want to grow as a writer and come up with inventive new descriptions, but hell, there's no need to reinvent the smut wheel. Sometimes "scissoring fingers"* might just be the best way to get the point across. Besides, as I've aged (like fine wine, yo) I've discovered that purple prose & flowery euphemisms annoy the hell out of me. That's why I choose to write erotic romance, where we tell it like it is.

I realize that Erotic Romance Bingo was all in good fun. I just thought it would be even more fun for me to share my characteristically overly dramatic reaction to it. However! There is one cliched phrase I will no longer be using. Liquid heat. Why? Well...

It'll be too hard for me to describe lady parts as liquid heat now that I know it's something that can be used to unclog a backed up sink. No woman wants a va-jay-jay that powerful. At least, I don't think they do. I swear, I didn't know whether to use it to fix my sink or put it in a pair of underwear and set it loose on unsuspecting men. The lines are so blurry.


*Wanna know the other squares from this bingo I used? Well you'll have to buy The Sergeant, available April 26 to find out. See what I did there? ;-)

PRETTY BOY - A Love Story

A couple months back I was scrolling through tumblr and came across a little black and white cartoon. It told the story of a meeting between two young men in high school. One, was the pretty boy, the other the high school jock. I won't spoil the story for you in case you decide to read it. But I will say that it was one of the sweetest things I'd ever seen. It was so well done, the scenes, facial expressions, and dialogue perfectly moving the story along in just a few short panels. (I had to think what the proper word was for comics. It is panels, right?) There was a little bit of a trigger in the story for me, but their love story was so sweet I had to have it. And not just as a saved post on my computer. So I actually checked out the source of the tumblr post and saw the artist had a website for their work. When I saw Pretty Boy was available as a booklet I ordered it immediately. The booklet isn't fancy by any means, but I was happy to spend the money and support a fellow writer for a story that I had enjoyed so much.

Actually I see lots of amazing artwork, stories and crafts on tumblr. I'm really in awe that there is so much talent out there in the world. I even posted the other day that I hope some of those artists start selling their stuff on sites like Redbubble, Etsy, etc. I'm sure there are lots of people who would support them by buying their work.

You never know what darling little treasures you'll stumble across on the internet. Thanks OMOCAT for creating Pretty Boy. I love it.

Find OMOCAT's work here: http://www.omocat-blog.com/
PRETTY BOY: http://www.omocat-shop.com/products/pretty-boy-booklet-1

First Look at The Sergeant!

Today's the day! Today I'm releasing the first three chapters of The Sergeant out into the world. Take a look and get to know our heroes. Maybe even take a peek at their first kiss. (I'm making a sassy face, but you can't see it) I'm nervous! Sending my baby out amongst readers. But it's time for me to start letting them go.

Click the cover image for a sneak peek at my upcoming erotic romance, The Sergeant

Blowing My Own Horn!

I've mentioned before the problem I had with promoting my first book. Basically I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I printed a bunch of flyers. A bunch. Want to know where most of them are now? In my closet. I didn't have a real plan so I didn't do much with them. I sent my sister some to pass out and to give to a friend of hers who has a sex toys business. I took some to a few novelty sex shops in Houston. And that was it. What a waste of money! I didn't do anything else because I didn't know what else I could do. But I've learned. This time I have a plan. I wrote it down and everything. After spending hours on the internet researching (along with wasting lots of time on tumblr) I came up with lots of things to do to promote The Sergeant. Giveaways, free stories, connecting with other authors, social media. I have plans for all the things. I'm pretty excited about it.

THE PLAN. It's ambitious.

But! I did have one small bit of nervousness to overcome. I was nervous thinking about blowing my own horn because it's not in my nature to do so. So I worried. Worried that people would think my promotional efforts were dumb. Or that no one would pay attention to them, so they wouldn't do me any good. I swear, I spend so much time worrying about the bad things that might happen. It's ridiculous. But there's another but! I smacked myself in the face (figuratively not literally) and gave myself a stern talking to (also figuratively not literally. I don't talk to myself. Much) Self-promotion is part of the job. If I want people to know my book exists, I'm going to have to talk about it. Once I got into that mindset I saw it less as a personal, I hope they like me, sort of thing to more of a here's a product I'd like you to try because I think you'll like it thing. So I'm ready to promote! Will I have the enthusiasm of someone like Colt Cabana right off the bat? No way, that guy is a promotional machine. Check out his podcast and you'll see what I mean. Still, I've got some great ideas and I think they'll really help get word on The Sergeant out there. I know it will be a lot of work but it should also be fun. 

I just want to know one thing before I get started. Can I take all those unused flyers back to Office Depot and get my money back?