For whatever reason, I fight sleep.
2:30 a.m. is my normal bed time. And by that I mean the time my body refuses to stay awake any longer and I pass out. I don't know why I do this to myself. It certainly isn't healthy. I'm no doctor, but I suspect my lack of sleep (I average five hours or less a night) are factors of my weight gain and sluggishness throughout the day. The sleep I do get isn't fulfilling due to my knee, both pre and especially post surgery. I wake several times throughout the night in order to rearrange my leg into a more comfortable position. So what do you think is the first thing that pops into my head every morning? If you guessed, "Man I can't wait to go back to bed." You guessed right.
And yet, the next night comes and the cycle continues. I don't go to bed. I stay up doing ... hell I don't know. I know I spend a lot of time on the internet, some of it researching for writing stuff, some of it not. But other than that I have no clue what I do every night. My dogs are smarter than me. They settle down and go to sleep while I stay awake.
Speaking of writing, my lack of sleep is affecting it as well. I can't concentrate very well, so I'm not having much luck getting words down. That sucks a giant bag of ... lemons.
Why do we do this to ourselves? I say "we" because I know I'm not the only one who does this. *waves Hi at other sleep fighters* Why avoid going to sleep when we know if we get that eight hours (or however much your body requires to be healthy) we'll wake up refreshed, clear headed, and with energy to carry out our day? I don't have the answer to that for you. For me, I think it's being irresponsible. A few minutes ago, I was thinking fondly of the days when my Tom was here. On workday nights we were in bed and asleep no later than 10:30. Neither of us had any trouble getting up in the morning and I know I certainly didn't move around in the zombie like state I do these days.
I'd like to get back to being responsible and going to bed at a smart time. So I'm challenging myself. This week, my goal is to have electronics and lights off by 11:30 every night. I'm interested to see if by the end of the week, I have more energy than I do most days. I think I will. If you're a sleep fighter, I invite you to join me! Let's get some of that restorative slumber, together. Except not really together, you'll be in your bed and I'll be in mine.
So grab your woobie, your pillow and your special blankie and join my pup Chunky for a nice, eight hour nap.